Most Men Are Too Intimidated To Date A Successful, Educated Gorgon | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Most Men Are Too Intimidated To Date A Successful, Educated Gorgon | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "When I look in the mirror, I like what I see: full lips, bright red eyes, a lustrous tangle of live asps on my head. My sister Stheno says I 'verily personify the terrors of the sea' and would be a 'real catch' for any man with half a brain. I don't know, maybe she's right. Still, every time the real me emerges—the confident, cultured, cruel monster with hideous boar-like teeth who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it—everything starts to go downhill.

Well, sorry, guys. If you're looking for someone to sit there, shut up, and look pretty, all the while making sure to keep her beastly set of wings politely folded, you must have me confused with someone else."