DON'T YOU KNOW THERE'S A WAR ON? DENVER -- United Airlines Flight 1240 to Washington last Wednesday had just pulled out of the clouds when the captain's voice came over the loudspeaker, saying:

"Good afternoon ... Unfortunately our country is at war. People are out to destroy us. Political correctness is out now. If you see anything suspicious, be ready to fight. Do not act like sheep and be led to your death. Be ready to fight ..."

I didn't get all the rest of it before he wished us a pleasant flight and reminded us to remain in our seats until he turned off the seatbelt sign.